Creators Calibrate

Now I can see it so that

I can take the hit of it so

I can feel the disappointment of it so

I can take the bounce of it so

I can launch a rocket of desire so

I can become more specific.

 

Isn’t this negative emotion a wonderful awareness? Aren’t you glad that you are aware of this manifestation?

 

I’m aware I’m using whatever this is as my excuse to deprive myself from the only thing I want which is the fullness of clarity and love.

I want all of me here and now,

all of me to play with you,

all of me to appreciate you,

all of me to be appreciated by you,

all of me in this moment.

 

I want all of me to be here but I’m pinching a good part of me off because of some ridiculous reason.

 

This really isn’t what I think it’s about.

It’s about me learning about my emotions.

It’s about me getting that I can allow all of me here and now.

It’s about me being who I am.

It’s about me feeling good. I can feel good no matter what.

It isn’t about that fear at all.

It’s about emotion.

It’s not even about my body, my health, my bank account.

It’s only about my emotion.

 

You were source energy before you got here, so why would you come here?

 

To experience ETERNITY; more, the identification and recognition of things wanted, and then isolating the vibration of it, and then calibrating to it, and feeling the universe back you up and fill in all the details of what you want.

 

You are a MASTER CREATOR.

That’s why you came.

 

You are in a constant state of choosing and you cannot be sloppy about it.

 

When something negative happens I am eager to grow from it. I am eager to clean something up. I welcome the fact I have more calibrating to do. This just means I am connecting more with source and perfecting the magic of manifestation.

 

Decide to do the only thing that matters, the only thing that really works, which is care about how you feel then everything will fall into place.

 

I have been on a life long quest to figure out my emotions. I won’t go into the story because that person no longer exists. But I will say that I feel like I keep unlocking doors. Learning things I knew I already knew. But each time it’s a feeling, like the reconnection to something vast and great, like source energy.

 

The full moon, is bringing a close to a week long journey into my anxiety and my depression. I have released myself from these.

Last week I felt every negative emotion I ever had as a child until now and I thought I couldn’t handle it. I thought about giving up but I knew I couldn’t.

 

I was completely aware that this feeling was ridiculous. That I was nightmaring and torturing myself with my own thoughts. I knew I had to let it all go.

 

I stepped away from those thoughts and feelings and focused on myself and work. I needed to put myself in places where I no longer thought about that negative emotion. Distraction worked in the moment, where I truly felt free again, but that moment would cease and I’d be back where I was torturing myself with old nightmares or creating ones that haven’t even happened. My fear grew because I knew that thinking such thoughts was only making me a vibrational match. I kept myself very busy to distract me from these thoughts, but any spare moment my mind had I was back at it.

 

4 days of this torture; a cycle of negative thoughts popping into my head, then me doing something to distract myself, then when that’s over, that thought comes back, so I distract myself again. I missed the love I once felt for myself and I feared the gap with my inner being would grow even more. I had to do something different. I had a hard time getting words out. It was all scrambled. I couldn’t focus. I was disconnected from myself.

 

No amount of distraction can take the place of the power of calibration. The power of focus. Sure, distraction is a good place to start up the momentum, but it’s never a replacement for focus. Distraction from a negative to a positive feeling, can help ramp up more positive thoughts, but if you aren’t doing the ramping up, the calibration, choosing to focus on positive aspects, then yes, you are going to go back down hill to a torturous doom.

 

Isn’t it a relief knowing that you have the ability to feel good no matter what? Isn’t it wonderful to know that there is no physical work to be done?

 

The only work that matters is your own calibration, which is the way you feel.

 

This song/video encapsulates this journey. Creating music makes me happy, so I just started a new song. I started it on the first day of this journey and finished it in less than 12 hours. I tweaked it the next few days, but it wasn’t until after day 5 when this new door opened and released the resistance that I added the perfect finishing touches and was happy to consider it done. I created the video the next day.